Well it's summer in FULL SWING here in New York, and the heat is undeniable! People are flocking to the beach and into the AC at every opportunity. More heat also equals less clothes, and more skin! It is certainly the sexiest time of year, and a a time where people tend to make and spend more time together. This can be seen by couples or families going on vacation together, playing at the beach, eating outdoors, going to concerts... you name it! It's a time for action and play, discovery and adventure, and most of all LOVE....
Love can be so much fun and feel so wonderful. It can be full of so much goodness, and at the same time feel oh, so frustrating (yes, I said it). What?!? Let's face it, this is all part of relationships: feeling uncomfortable when things don't go OUR way. We actually create our own discomfort by not accepting how things really are, and how another person chooses to behave. This is a direct result of creating our own EXPECTATIONS about how the relationship should be or how our significant other should behave. In fact, I firmly believe that expectations are the root of all disappointment.
Expectations are NOT standards, by the way. Standards are different in the way that they are things we hold for ourselves dearly, and if not met, breaks the deal. An example of a standard would be I only date monogamous men VS. an expectation that my boyfriend will take me out to dinner once per week, verbally show his love, and always plan our outings. Can you see the difference? Many times our expectations are programmed into our subconscious mind from an early age. They are preferences which we made into truths " men should take out the garbage" , " men should pay for everything" , etc.
What I want to do here for you is uncover the TOP 3 things that you might expect from love, so you can see what might be causing you some discomfort and disappointment. Ultimately, these 3 things can also push love away from you because your partner will FEEL less than and will feel like a huge disappointment from the energy shift that YOU feel, when he/she doesn't come through on these. This is true whether you tell your partner or not. We are all energetic and that's what he/she will feel. This will cause more of a distance than a closeness, which is what you truly desire (and why you have made these agreements with yourself - i.e. expectations- in the first place).
The Top 3 things you Expect from LOVE
- Safety- Can come in form of physical, emotional, or monetary safety
- Fun and Adventure- Consistent planning of activities or fun things to do
- Affirmations- Can come in the form of compliments or affirming love for you (tied to safety as well)
On some level, these are basic needs of every human. However, if you are expecting these needs to be filled by another person, especially ONE other person, get ready for a hard fall! We are in charge of our own happiness, and even if our significant other wanted to do it all for you and fulfill your every need, this would be an impossible task!
So, do yourself a favor. Find out which one (or more) of these that you are expecting your lover to fulfill. Now, figure out ONE thing you can do this week to give this to yourself! Maybe you need to get one more client, have dinner with a nurturing friend, or plan something fun that you have been wanting to do! Whatever it is, you will feel so empowered afterward, your partner will be impressed, your energy will totally shift, and you will be (ironically) more attractive to your partner afterward..... and I wouldn't doubt that he/she might do one of these things next time for you, naturally....
Watch the magic happen, and I would LOVE To hear what you expect from love, and what you decide to do to fulfill your love bank this week! :) Comment below! :)))