The #1 Reason you aren't getting what you Want (and #2 and #3)

So you dream about that home on the water in nantucket, the dream man, or a slim, toned body. You long to feel at peace, abundant, safe, and loved. You wonder why you just can't find a job or career that you love...

Chances are, you have all felt that way at one point or another. We want something so badly, and we just don't understand why it is we aren't getting it! Last night, I led a coaching dinner at Soho House NY, and we talked all about this. There were women wanting love, more money, a better lifestyle, a successful career, a beautiful home with their man, and greater health! One of the things that I helped them see was this. Feelings first! 

We have been conditioned to think that after we 'get' our thing, we will feel truly fulfilled, at peace, energized, and life will just be perfect, right??

We have it all backwards. 

See, if you believe this, your feelings depend on your life conditions. What a roller coaster that can be! Why not FEEL GOOD first, harnessing the feeling you believe the condition will bring you, and then watch the magic happen. You will get what you want, and if you don't, you will feel the way you want anyway... so who cares!

So, there is a simple formula to getting what you want, and it starts with this. Creating the feeling you want to have, resulting from the 'thing' you want. So, if you want to make 1 million dollars next year because that will make you feel free and alive, then how can you feel free and alive NOW? What in your life makes you free and alive now? Going to a museum, a cafe, dancing, singing, swimming in the ocean? Whatever it is, go and do it! Chances are, your result will come faster if you can harness that feeling FIRST.

But, you want to know the #1 Reason you aren't getting what you want, right?? 

Well feeling it is an integral part of the reason, and can help you get there, so here it is!

1. You don't BELIEVE it will happen to you. This is the #1 REASON you are not getting what you want. If you don't believe it's possible, can't visualize it, and think you aren't smart or capable enough to get it, you won't. It's that simple. Take a look at your beliefs and decide which ones are supporting your wish or goal, and discard the ones that are not. Take those limiting beliefs and turn them around to positive affirmations that can support you. Read them aloud daily, until you start to believe them and believe more in yourself!

2. You are not in ACTION. This is the second reason. So many times we decide what we want, or perhaps we are wavering between a few things, or have a lot going on, and we do not get into ACTION. Action is so important because without it, we will get no where. If you aren't sure what you want, get out there and try a few things and see what doors are open for you. If you are sure, get organized and prioritize what action steps will get you closer to your goal or wish faster. Write it down (it really works) and take 1-2 steps daily or even weekly, and see how fast things change for you.

3. You are not PERSISTENT. Sometimes we get discouraged or feel tired when we are not seeing tangible results quickly enough. We are impatient. We think we should have more money in the bank or more dates or more job offers... now! However, most times, seeds need to be planted and need time to germinate and sprout before the garden is in full bloom. Do you think that Natalie Portman just got discovered one day? Hell no! She has been working as an actress since she was a small child. What about the Beatles- an overnight success? Wrong again. They rehearsed and played 6-7 nights a week for many years. Read Outliers, a great book documenting this. Malcolm Gladwell did thousands of studies that point to any person needing to do 10,000 hours worth of work before they are an expert of sorts. So don't give up. There are people out there wanting your services, your love, your time, and your expertise. It will happen if you BELIEVE IT! 

And remember this: you are EXACTLY where you are supposed to be right now! All will happen in perfect timing.  I KNOW it.